During quarantine every single person was forced to face their music. If you were safe at home or one of the few at the office your reality looked a whole lot different during this season. The common theme that I noticed in discussion with folks has been the ability to slow down and spend time in reflection while in quarantine. So for me, during quarantine my greatest lesson was this: How to show up for myself.
What does showing up for yourself even mean? Why would it be so important? Well, just like most people I know that my entire life I can wholeheartedly say that I was the first person to cancel on myself. I would quit a goal, postpone something I really wanted to do and the list goes on. After having kids it honestly just became so easy to loose so much of myself to our daily routine. I would constantly show up for other people with my time and energy but never for myself. Tending to the kids, my husband, the house, work and my friends WAS MY LIFE. We use the excuse that we don’t have time or that its not a priority and busy ourselves with things that please others. How many of you can agree with that about your life? It’s so easy and normal to get caught in the cycle of doing things to please other people and making their agenda our top priority. I would often tell myself to “dress better” because I was meeting with someone or “don’t be late” because this person doesn’t seem likely to forgive me or be gracious if I waste their time accidentally or not. There were a thousand things I let influence my choices and behaviors pre-covid quarantine. People pleasing or prioritizing everything else seems so desirable. When someone says “good job” or “thank you” it makes you feel good. However, allowing others to have control over how you feel is giving them too much power. If their feedback isn’t there when you need it, or its negative, it can have very damaging effects on your self esteem and your mental health. The beautiful thing about this forced slow down time during quarantine is that no one expected anything from me (other than my family in my house). I didn’t have to go anywhere. I wasn’t scheduled to meet anyone. I was free to take a deep breath and re-evaluate my entire life. This time was sacred to me.
Was it scary? Damn right it was. My shop was forced to close down and I had a staff of 5 who depended on my business to make money and pay their bills. Not to mention I had my own bills and shop bills that I still had to pay when there was no revenue. But here is what I do know about myself in unknown and frightening times. I am resilient. I have lived in survival mode time and time again. The loss of my Dad. The diagnosis of my son. These seasons in life teach us who we are and we are able to come out the other side of the season with more skills and clearer vision.
1.the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.
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